TheGurw
Well-Known Member
This was one go, no edits, no backing up, and no holds barred (what a weird saying, is it from wrestling?). Taken from one of the Corrupt-A-Wish threads.
We aren't Australia. You can't make up random words and expect us to actually have a thing with that name. Wish granted, but everyone in the USA is now looking for the Mythical Saskatchobiwan Serpent among Saskatchewan's thousand+ lakes, and pour billions into Canada's tourism industry. Canada becomes the world's economic leader, and the US (minus the South) is annexed, becoming the Western United States of Canadia, and New York. The South becomes Texas, which invades and performs a hostile takeover of Mexico. Alaska becomes a province in its own right, and quickly catches up to Alberta and Saskatchewan in budget, becoming the third richest province. Californy-eh and Oregano merge into Caligani-eh and become the first province to legalize marijuana; paving the way for British Columbia to finally get around to actually making it legal instead of just acting like it is. Hawaii continues much as it were, until the polar bears adapt to warmer climates and perform a hostile takeover, declare independence, then realize that a group of islands populated by non-polar polar bears isn't good for Hawaii's tourism-based economy; they eventually agree to rejoin Canada, who popularizes surfing polar bears.
Eventually, Canada realizes it has military strength now, and nicely asks Russia if they would be willing to perhaps maybe give up some land if that would be ok with them, but only if they really want to. Please. Russia says "Sure, why not? Take all of us." and becomes the Union of Soviet Socialist Canadian Provinces. Denmark and the other Scandinavian countries agree with Canada's new marijuana laws, realize they aren't really that different, and ask to jump on the bandwagon, each becoming provinces in their own right.
Realizing that it is still technically ruled by a monarch, Canada tells Great Britain it is leaving the rule, to which GB replies, "No f-ing way" and declares war. Nobody else under GB's rule is stupid enough to declare war against the world's largest country that recently acquired the world's two most powerful military forces. GB's military is also not stupid, and almost every single member puts in a request for transfer to ally form, and moves to Toronto. Left without a military, GB's government takes Canada's offer of peace and "puppet", and becomes a puppet state for the Empire of Canadia.
Australia, having long since thrown off the reigns of monarchy, allies itself firmly with Canada. Canada, having always thought of Australia as its weird third cousin twice-removed (the one that was born to that incestually adulterous mating at Christmas 40 years ago), tentatively agrees to this arrangement, but makes plans to send in spider exterminators en masse. They also convince the Aussie government to create a koala bear/kangaroo army, which eventually becomes as elite as the former US Navy SEALS.
China remains as the only country with an army large enough to make a dent in Canada's defenses, but thanks to Canada's pre-emptive friendliness towards China, it has no reason to. China and Canada become good allies and Canada helps China make the painful move from Communism to Democratic Socialism.
Hockey now rivals football (soccer) as the world's favorite sport, watched by 2.8 billion people.
And that's what happens when you say Eagles are better than non-existent Canadian creatures.
We aren't Australia. You can't make up random words and expect us to actually have a thing with that name. Wish granted, but everyone in the USA is now looking for the Mythical Saskatchobiwan Serpent among Saskatchewan's thousand+ lakes, and pour billions into Canada's tourism industry. Canada becomes the world's economic leader, and the US (minus the South) is annexed, becoming the Western United States of Canadia, and New York. The South becomes Texas, which invades and performs a hostile takeover of Mexico. Alaska becomes a province in its own right, and quickly catches up to Alberta and Saskatchewan in budget, becoming the third richest province. Californy-eh and Oregano merge into Caligani-eh and become the first province to legalize marijuana; paving the way for British Columbia to finally get around to actually making it legal instead of just acting like it is. Hawaii continues much as it were, until the polar bears adapt to warmer climates and perform a hostile takeover, declare independence, then realize that a group of islands populated by non-polar polar bears isn't good for Hawaii's tourism-based economy; they eventually agree to rejoin Canada, who popularizes surfing polar bears.
Eventually, Canada realizes it has military strength now, and nicely asks Russia if they would be willing to perhaps maybe give up some land if that would be ok with them, but only if they really want to. Please. Russia says "Sure, why not? Take all of us." and becomes the Union of Soviet Socialist Canadian Provinces. Denmark and the other Scandinavian countries agree with Canada's new marijuana laws, realize they aren't really that different, and ask to jump on the bandwagon, each becoming provinces in their own right.
Realizing that it is still technically ruled by a monarch, Canada tells Great Britain it is leaving the rule, to which GB replies, "No f-ing way" and declares war. Nobody else under GB's rule is stupid enough to declare war against the world's largest country that recently acquired the world's two most powerful military forces. GB's military is also not stupid, and almost every single member puts in a request for transfer to ally form, and moves to Toronto. Left without a military, GB's government takes Canada's offer of peace and "puppet", and becomes a puppet state for the Empire of Canadia.
Australia, having long since thrown off the reigns of monarchy, allies itself firmly with Canada. Canada, having always thought of Australia as its weird third cousin twice-removed (the one that was born to that incestually adulterous mating at Christmas 40 years ago), tentatively agrees to this arrangement, but makes plans to send in spider exterminators en masse. They also convince the Aussie government to create a koala bear/kangaroo army, which eventually becomes as elite as the former US Navy SEALS.
China remains as the only country with an army large enough to make a dent in Canada's defenses, but thanks to Canada's pre-emptive friendliness towards China, it has no reason to. China and Canada become good allies and Canada helps China make the painful move from Communism to Democratic Socialism.
Hockey now rivals football (soccer) as the world's favorite sport, watched by 2.8 billion people.
And that's what happens when you say Eagles are better than non-existent Canadian creatures.
. AFAIK most of the post-soviet countries doesn't like to be reminded about it like the Germans don't like talking about nazis.
