Audi
Well-Known Member
Look – what’s that in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it Jerzey on an acid trip? No, it’s a Vorsprung, dammit, and he’s here with another episode of his TITs.
Without further ado, or adon’t, here’s Vorsprung’s 411 on how to play as the Soldier.
And there we have it! You know what next’s week story will be eh? I would have done this one sooner, but I was putting the finishing touches on my “How Casham Became A Coconut” story… Which I missed the contest flagfall by a 5 minutes. Whilst my computer was crashing. Fark.
ILY guyz, no homo,
VORSPRIZZLE
Oh yeah, feedback much obliged an’ shit. Fer both things. And yeah.
Without further ado, or adon’t, here’s Vorsprung’s 411 on how to play as the Soldier.
Health: 200 base, 300 overhealed
Speed: 80%
Special Ability: Takes less damage from own projectiles if they do not hit an enemy
Normal Melee Strength: 65 damage
Stock Primary Weapon: Rocket Launcher
Stock Secondary Weapon: Shotgun
Stock Melee Weapon: Shovel
The Soldier is a good all-round class to play as on the battlefield, and is one of the four professional competition classes. His large amount of health and his massive firepower make him a danger on the battlefield. He can ‘rocket jump’ using his primary weapons to dominate the air and access unique locations. All of his weapons deal a large amount of damage, and he’s adept at both attacking and defending.
Speed: 80%
Special Ability: Takes less damage from own projectiles if they do not hit an enemy
Normal Melee Strength: 65 damage
Stock Primary Weapon: Rocket Launcher
Stock Secondary Weapon: Shotgun
Stock Melee Weapon: Shovel
The Soldier is a good all-round class to play as on the battlefield, and is one of the four professional competition classes. His large amount of health and his massive firepower make him a danger on the battlefield. He can ‘rocket jump’ using his primary weapons to dominate the air and access unique locations. All of his weapons deal a large amount of damage, and he’s adept at both attacking and defending.
The Soldier is often called a ‘bread and butter class’. He is a very versatile mercenary who can deal very large amounts of damage with a great deal of accuracy. It’s simply a bad idea not to have at least one Soldier on your team in any game mode, except possibly Medieval Mode. Ultimately, the Soldier is suited very well to any combat situation. They also make excellent Medic buddies, and a Soldier poses a significant threat to any enemy class, especially Engineers.
Soldiers are in many ways an indispensable class on a team, but they do suffer from their weaknesses. Soldiers are the second slowest class; only marginally quicker than a Heavy. Thus, they are very susceptible to harassment by Scouts and to Spies, looking for a backstab. Although their rockets are accurate, they’re also quite slow and easy to avoid. Enemy Pyros can also reflect them, meaning you can often be the cause of your own demise.
Soldiers are in many ways an indispensable class on a team, but they do suffer from their weaknesses. Soldiers are the second slowest class; only marginally quicker than a Heavy. Thus, they are very susceptible to harassment by Scouts and to Spies, looking for a backstab. Although their rockets are accurate, they’re also quite slow and easy to avoid. Enemy Pyros can also reflect them, meaning you can often be the cause of your own demise.
Capture the Flag: Soldiers are only moderately effective in CTF maps. Although they’ll be able to dominate any skirmishes that appear in the middle of the map, their slow speed makes them ill-suited to chauffeur the intelligence. However, Soldiers will exceed in removing Engineer nests, potentially clearing the way for more agile teammates.
Control Points: Soldiers will do fairly well on CP maps. Although their slow speed will hinder them, their ability to ‘splash’ enemies off points, and their large health and firepower, will work well when capturing points. They’ll also do well in defence, if it comes to that.
Attack / Defend: Both attacking (BLU) and defending (RED) Soldiers will be successful in A/D maps. Attacking Soldiers will be able to remove defenders quickly and secure points, especially if they’re wielding the +1 capture bonus of the Pain Train (not the Crane Train). Defending Soldiers will likewise be able to poach attackers from vantage points using their rocket jump, and also be able to splash attackers off points.
Territorial Control: Hydro is a very large map, where mobility is key. Thus, Soldiers may suffer from their slow speed. However, there’s plenty of vantage points and choke points, and a skilled Soldier will take advantage of his rockets as best he can to be a menace to the other team. Be warned; as the map is very large, rockets fired at a distance will likely be spotted by the enemy, and possibly reflected.
Payload: Soldiers can be successful here, too. Attacking Soldiers will be able to dispatch the enemy quickly, and protect the cart when needed. Defending Soldiers can splash foes off the cart, dealing fatal damage. Ubercharged Soldiers will be essential here for both teams.
Payload Race: More-or-less as effective as they are in normal Payload maps. Soldiers will both thrive in the heat of the battle, tossing foes off their cart, and dealing damage at a distance, accurately hitting targets from safe locales.
Arena: Soldiers can either be deadly or puny at Arena maps. Although his large health and his immense power will serve him well, rocket jumps become a far riskier prospect. Here more than any other map, Soldiers need to be careful not to damage themselves with their explosives. A good Soldier will be able to kill the enemy quickly and dominate the point. Poor Soldiers will fall prey to Scouts and Spies, and their speed will be their downfall.
King of the Hill: It can be argued that Soldiers are most useful on KOTH maps. As KOTH is a blend of both attack and defence, yet in a central, non-moving location, Soldiers will do very well. They’ll be able to keep enemies off the point and at a distance whilst capturing, and they’ll be able to defend by removing pesky Engy setups, attacking the enemy spawn and keeping people at bay at a distance. Rocket jumping onto the point FTW?
Medieval Mode: Alas, this is where Soldiers are at their least useful. Although their large health is a plus, their lack of any real non-mechanical benefits will be their downfall. Soldiers will find a small niche with using the Pain Train, but apart from that, they’re not too effective here.
Control Points: Soldiers will do fairly well on CP maps. Although their slow speed will hinder them, their ability to ‘splash’ enemies off points, and their large health and firepower, will work well when capturing points. They’ll also do well in defence, if it comes to that.
Attack / Defend: Both attacking (BLU) and defending (RED) Soldiers will be successful in A/D maps. Attacking Soldiers will be able to remove defenders quickly and secure points, especially if they’re wielding the +1 capture bonus of the Pain Train (not the Crane Train). Defending Soldiers will likewise be able to poach attackers from vantage points using their rocket jump, and also be able to splash attackers off points.
Territorial Control: Hydro is a very large map, where mobility is key. Thus, Soldiers may suffer from their slow speed. However, there’s plenty of vantage points and choke points, and a skilled Soldier will take advantage of his rockets as best he can to be a menace to the other team. Be warned; as the map is very large, rockets fired at a distance will likely be spotted by the enemy, and possibly reflected.
Payload: Soldiers can be successful here, too. Attacking Soldiers will be able to dispatch the enemy quickly, and protect the cart when needed. Defending Soldiers can splash foes off the cart, dealing fatal damage. Ubercharged Soldiers will be essential here for both teams.
Payload Race: More-or-less as effective as they are in normal Payload maps. Soldiers will both thrive in the heat of the battle, tossing foes off their cart, and dealing damage at a distance, accurately hitting targets from safe locales.
Arena: Soldiers can either be deadly or puny at Arena maps. Although his large health and his immense power will serve him well, rocket jumps become a far riskier prospect. Here more than any other map, Soldiers need to be careful not to damage themselves with their explosives. A good Soldier will be able to kill the enemy quickly and dominate the point. Poor Soldiers will fall prey to Scouts and Spies, and their speed will be their downfall.
King of the Hill: It can be argued that Soldiers are most useful on KOTH maps. As KOTH is a blend of both attack and defence, yet in a central, non-moving location, Soldiers will do very well. They’ll be able to keep enemies off the point and at a distance whilst capturing, and they’ll be able to defend by removing pesky Engy setups, attacking the enemy spawn and keeping people at bay at a distance. Rocket jumping onto the point FTW?
Medieval Mode: Alas, this is where Soldiers are at their least useful. Although their large health is a plus, their lack of any real non-mechanical benefits will be their downfall. Soldiers will find a small niche with using the Pain Train, but apart from that, they’re not too effective here.
Soldier vs. Scout: Scouts will either be incredibly easy targets for you to remove, or pestilences. Your rockets can either outright kill them or maim them in one hit, and they’ll also suffer knockback from your rockets more than other classes. However, their speed and effectiveness at close range against your sloth and ineffectiveness at close range will leave them at a distinct advantage; neither your RL or Shotgun are good at dealing with them like that (although your Shotgun will do more damage at close range). Don’t let them harass you close-range. Corner them in choke points to kill them, and don’t always rely on your slow rockets to kill those fast foes.
You can work with friendly Scouts to capture points and push carts, but they’ll still be weak targets for the enemy. Do your best to protect them from harm, and use your ‘buff’ secondaries such as the Buff Banner, Battalion’s Backup and Concheror to ‘top them up’ so they can do more damage. Soldiers and Scouts can also work together to clear out points before capturing them. Apart from that, the Soldier’s tardiness just won’t be able to keep up with the Scout, so stick with teammates that you can keep up with.
Soldier vs. Soldier: When it comes to one Soldier facing another, it will be less about skill and more about the circumstances, for example, health, if there’s a Medic, positioning, etc. One Soldier against another will be fairly balanced, but it will mainly be down to which RL is being used by whom. For example, a Black Box vs. a Direct Hit will likely result in a win for the Direct Hit’s wielder, but a Direct Hit vs. a stock RL may result in a victory for the RL user. Try and avoid enemy Soldiers where possible, and focus on attacking other classes.
Two Soldiers working together can be a formidable team. You can boost each other’s speed using a Disciplinary Action, and you can use combinations of buffing secondaries, and of different RL’s, to wreak havoc. Generally, two Soldiers together are a good combination.
Soldier vs. Pyro: Pyros can be one of your most formidable foes. Your slow speed will mean it’s easy for them to toast you with their flamethrowers, and their Shotgun, much like yours, is very powerful. However, their most deadly weapon against you is their airblast, which can reflect your own rockets back at you. When around a Pyro, be careful where you aim your rockets, or you might be in for a nasty surprise. Try aiming near them or at their feet to lower the chance of them airblasting them back at you. Stay at a distance, and use your Shotgun to kill them off. Remember; even if they don’t use their airblast to reflect your rockets, they can still push you around and off cliffs.
Soldiers and Pyros can work together with a reasonable degree of effectiveness. Friendly Pyros can put you out if you’re on fire, and an adept Pyro will sort out enemy Pyros that may be harassing you. Your effectiveness at long range will also be able to cover up Pyro’s weakness at range. Stick together, you two!
Soldier vs. Demoman: They’re often touted as perfect enemies – see the War! Update. But in reality, they’re very similar classes. Both can use their explosives to deal large amounts of damage. Both can use their explosives to gain vertical dominance. Both are fairly slow and have a large amount of health, and both of them can be harassed at close range. If you come up against an enemy Demo, use your rockets and Shotgun to destroy or remove stickybombs. Try and keep at a reasonable distance, and blast him with rockets. Watch your feet for stickies, and be careful if he’s going Demoknight on you. Your larger health pool will give you a slight advantage against him. There’s a reason Soldiers won the War! Update.
Friendly Soldiers and Demos can work together to defend points and clear enemies off points. Both are also adept at removing Engy nests, so work together to do so. The Demoman’s barrier-clearing abilities can cover for your lack of ability, and your accuracy at range can cover for his lacks.
Soldier vs. Heavy: Enemy Heavies are a formidable force on the battlefield, and although you’re second to him in terms of health, you’re also second to him at speed. Keep out of his firing line and attack him at distance. His Minigun gets less powerful and accurate at range, and he’ll be largely unable to avoid incoming rockets. He’s one of the very few classes who can absorb a direct hit from a rocket easily – he can even survive crockets! That being said, he’s a very large target, so it’s comparatively easy to hit him. Aim at his feet to toss him up in the air, and surprise him with aerial attacks.
Soldiers and Heavies, being the top two strongest classes in terms of health, can be a real tour-de-force on the battlefield. You’ll be able to keep up with a Heavy, and you’ll both be able to combat each other’s weaknesses. Both of you are reasonable vulnerable to Pyros, however. Your buffs can be very useful to a Heavy, and his Sandvich can be a lifesaver for you.
Soldier vs. Engineer: Engys can be easy prey for you. Away from their gear, they are next to defenceless, and you can dispatch them with basically one rocket. You can be a real menace to their buildings, too. As long as you can keep at a distance, you’ll be able to destroy Sentries with a matter of ease. Mini-Sentries can be destroyed with one rocket! On top of this, if you use the ‘Tank Buster’ item set, you’ll gain additional immunity to Sentries.
You know the Engy’s weaknesses, so combat those with your strengths. Defend your Engy’s gear with your rockets. That way, you’ll be able to combat threats to an Engy at range. Utilise his Dispenser to fill up your small rocket supply, and keep you fit and ready for rocket jumps. His Teleporters can be especially useful to you, as you’re pretty slow.
Soldier vs. Sniper: You’re at greater risk of being sniped then most other classes. You have a relatively large head, and you’re quite slow. Keep moving, and keep jumping (rocket or otherwise) to avoid an untimely death. You and the Sniper are both classes that excel at long range, so use your rockets to push them out of sniping areas. Try and use your rockets to upset them, and get them out in the open where your team can easily kill them.
Soldiers and Snipers can work together to poach targets at a distance. You can use your Cow Mangler 5000 or your Righteous Bison to light a friendly Sniper’s arrows on fire; he’ll be able to kill targets quicker, and you’ll gain assists. If you’re snuck up on by Spies or just by enemies, protect your Sniper buddies.
Soldier vs. Medic: Medics are always high-priority targets to get rid of. You can seriously do damage to them, too. Use your rockets to hurt them, and also splash and juggle them away from their team and healing targets. You can use your rockets to separate an Ubered Medic from his healing target, rendering his Ubercharge useless. Unless he’s with another teammate, your large health will soak up his needles, if it comes to that. If he’s with another enemy, use your rockets to separate the Medic from his patient, rather than attempt to kill them.
As a Soldier, you are a very good Medic buddy. Your large health and destructive capabilities make you a desirable patient. An Ubered Soldier can easily remove turtles and Engy nests, and can be deadly to the other team. Stick with your Medic and keep him safe. His overheal will be very useful to you, and you can use it to perform rocket jumps with safety. Medics are a valuable asset to the team, and especially you. Take safe opportunities to hurt yourself with your own rockets so your Medic can build up charge quicker. Note that hurting yourself during setup time doesn’t increase charge rate, so don’t waste time doing that.
Soldier vs. Spy: Spies can be a real menace to you. Your slow speed will make it easy for them to backstab you. Keep moving, and Spy-check often. If it comes to a confrontation, it will be very simple for you to kill them with rockets. If they’re cloaked, use your Shotgun to reveal them. Be warned that a Spy using the Dead Ringer, when hit by one of your rockets, will fully fill up his cloak meter. When you can, use your Shotgun against Spies. Your Righteous Bison can also reveal Spies.
There’s not much that a Soldier can do with a friendly Spy. Do the obvious; keep them from harm, don’t call attention to them, and use your buffs and Disciplinary Action to help them out. That goes for all friendly classes. Your position as a high-health, high-power class means that you can be a good bodyshield for weaker and more vulnerable classes, such as the Scout, Engineer, Medic, Sniper or Spy.
3: Aerials
REQUIRES: any primary weapon, secondary weapons
An aerial is a hit or a series hits made on an enemy whilst they’re mid-air. Technically, any class can just shoot an enemy whilst they’re airborne, but generally, it refers to the tactic of forcing an enemy into the air (by juggling or otherwise), and then making deliberate shots to kill them. Soldiers excel at Aerials, as their accurate, high-damage weapons are great for juggling and then finishing enemies off with aerials. It’s as simple as juggling a foe into the air using a rocket, and then using another rocket or any other attack to kill them. Enemies will be slow and stunned in the air, and thus much more vulnerable to your hard-hitting rockets. In fact, the Reserve Shooter, a craftable shotgun for the Soldier (and Pyro) actually rewards aerials, as it gives mini-crits on aerials, among other things.
You can work with friendly Scouts to capture points and push carts, but they’ll still be weak targets for the enemy. Do your best to protect them from harm, and use your ‘buff’ secondaries such as the Buff Banner, Battalion’s Backup and Concheror to ‘top them up’ so they can do more damage. Soldiers and Scouts can also work together to clear out points before capturing them. Apart from that, the Soldier’s tardiness just won’t be able to keep up with the Scout, so stick with teammates that you can keep up with.
Soldier vs. Soldier: When it comes to one Soldier facing another, it will be less about skill and more about the circumstances, for example, health, if there’s a Medic, positioning, etc. One Soldier against another will be fairly balanced, but it will mainly be down to which RL is being used by whom. For example, a Black Box vs. a Direct Hit will likely result in a win for the Direct Hit’s wielder, but a Direct Hit vs. a stock RL may result in a victory for the RL user. Try and avoid enemy Soldiers where possible, and focus on attacking other classes.
Two Soldiers working together can be a formidable team. You can boost each other’s speed using a Disciplinary Action, and you can use combinations of buffing secondaries, and of different RL’s, to wreak havoc. Generally, two Soldiers together are a good combination.
Soldier vs. Pyro: Pyros can be one of your most formidable foes. Your slow speed will mean it’s easy for them to toast you with their flamethrowers, and their Shotgun, much like yours, is very powerful. However, their most deadly weapon against you is their airblast, which can reflect your own rockets back at you. When around a Pyro, be careful where you aim your rockets, or you might be in for a nasty surprise. Try aiming near them or at their feet to lower the chance of them airblasting them back at you. Stay at a distance, and use your Shotgun to kill them off. Remember; even if they don’t use their airblast to reflect your rockets, they can still push you around and off cliffs.
Soldiers and Pyros can work together with a reasonable degree of effectiveness. Friendly Pyros can put you out if you’re on fire, and an adept Pyro will sort out enemy Pyros that may be harassing you. Your effectiveness at long range will also be able to cover up Pyro’s weakness at range. Stick together, you two!
Soldier vs. Demoman: They’re often touted as perfect enemies – see the War! Update. But in reality, they’re very similar classes. Both can use their explosives to deal large amounts of damage. Both can use their explosives to gain vertical dominance. Both are fairly slow and have a large amount of health, and both of them can be harassed at close range. If you come up against an enemy Demo, use your rockets and Shotgun to destroy or remove stickybombs. Try and keep at a reasonable distance, and blast him with rockets. Watch your feet for stickies, and be careful if he’s going Demoknight on you. Your larger health pool will give you a slight advantage against him. There’s a reason Soldiers won the War! Update.
Friendly Soldiers and Demos can work together to defend points and clear enemies off points. Both are also adept at removing Engy nests, so work together to do so. The Demoman’s barrier-clearing abilities can cover for your lack of ability, and your accuracy at range can cover for his lacks.
Soldier vs. Heavy: Enemy Heavies are a formidable force on the battlefield, and although you’re second to him in terms of health, you’re also second to him at speed. Keep out of his firing line and attack him at distance. His Minigun gets less powerful and accurate at range, and he’ll be largely unable to avoid incoming rockets. He’s one of the very few classes who can absorb a direct hit from a rocket easily – he can even survive crockets! That being said, he’s a very large target, so it’s comparatively easy to hit him. Aim at his feet to toss him up in the air, and surprise him with aerial attacks.
Soldiers and Heavies, being the top two strongest classes in terms of health, can be a real tour-de-force on the battlefield. You’ll be able to keep up with a Heavy, and you’ll both be able to combat each other’s weaknesses. Both of you are reasonable vulnerable to Pyros, however. Your buffs can be very useful to a Heavy, and his Sandvich can be a lifesaver for you.
Soldier vs. Engineer: Engys can be easy prey for you. Away from their gear, they are next to defenceless, and you can dispatch them with basically one rocket. You can be a real menace to their buildings, too. As long as you can keep at a distance, you’ll be able to destroy Sentries with a matter of ease. Mini-Sentries can be destroyed with one rocket! On top of this, if you use the ‘Tank Buster’ item set, you’ll gain additional immunity to Sentries.
You know the Engy’s weaknesses, so combat those with your strengths. Defend your Engy’s gear with your rockets. That way, you’ll be able to combat threats to an Engy at range. Utilise his Dispenser to fill up your small rocket supply, and keep you fit and ready for rocket jumps. His Teleporters can be especially useful to you, as you’re pretty slow.
Soldier vs. Sniper: You’re at greater risk of being sniped then most other classes. You have a relatively large head, and you’re quite slow. Keep moving, and keep jumping (rocket or otherwise) to avoid an untimely death. You and the Sniper are both classes that excel at long range, so use your rockets to push them out of sniping areas. Try and use your rockets to upset them, and get them out in the open where your team can easily kill them.
Soldiers and Snipers can work together to poach targets at a distance. You can use your Cow Mangler 5000 or your Righteous Bison to light a friendly Sniper’s arrows on fire; he’ll be able to kill targets quicker, and you’ll gain assists. If you’re snuck up on by Spies or just by enemies, protect your Sniper buddies.
Soldier vs. Medic: Medics are always high-priority targets to get rid of. You can seriously do damage to them, too. Use your rockets to hurt them, and also splash and juggle them away from their team and healing targets. You can use your rockets to separate an Ubered Medic from his healing target, rendering his Ubercharge useless. Unless he’s with another teammate, your large health will soak up his needles, if it comes to that. If he’s with another enemy, use your rockets to separate the Medic from his patient, rather than attempt to kill them.
As a Soldier, you are a very good Medic buddy. Your large health and destructive capabilities make you a desirable patient. An Ubered Soldier can easily remove turtles and Engy nests, and can be deadly to the other team. Stick with your Medic and keep him safe. His overheal will be very useful to you, and you can use it to perform rocket jumps with safety. Medics are a valuable asset to the team, and especially you. Take safe opportunities to hurt yourself with your own rockets so your Medic can build up charge quicker. Note that hurting yourself during setup time doesn’t increase charge rate, so don’t waste time doing that.
Soldier vs. Spy: Spies can be a real menace to you. Your slow speed will make it easy for them to backstab you. Keep moving, and Spy-check often. If it comes to a confrontation, it will be very simple for you to kill them with rockets. If they’re cloaked, use your Shotgun to reveal them. Be warned that a Spy using the Dead Ringer, when hit by one of your rockets, will fully fill up his cloak meter. When you can, use your Shotgun against Spies. Your Righteous Bison can also reveal Spies.
There’s not much that a Soldier can do with a friendly Spy. Do the obvious; keep them from harm, don’t call attention to them, and use your buffs and Disciplinary Action to help them out. That goes for all friendly classes. Your position as a high-health, high-power class means that you can be a good bodyshield for weaker and more vulnerable classes, such as the Scout, Engineer, Medic, Sniper or Spy.
1: Rocket Jump Tips
REQUIRES: any primary weapon
Soldiers, although usually cumbersome, can utilise the destructive explosions of their rockets to propel them throughout the battlefield. Soldiers will naturally be knocked back and hurt from their own explosions. However, you can use this to propel yourself into the air and access unique positions on the map. This is known as ‘rocket jumping’, and it’s the most important skill a Soldier has. Soldiers naturally have resistance against their own rockets. Your rockets won’t kill you, but they will toss you. If you fire a rocket at your feet, the explosion will toss you upwards. If you jump whilst doing so, you can gain a much higher jump, at the cost of some health. Jump too much, and you’ll kill yourself. You can also use your rockets to send you flying in a short, quick jump, to get you across the battlefield quickly. You can even use your rockets to move yourself during the first few seconds of spawning, where you’re normally frozen in place.
The main tips of rocket jumping are this:
1: Aim your rockets directly beneath your feet.
2: Jump just before you fire.
3: Crouch whilst jumping to get a bigger jump. (This is called crouch-jumping. Any class can do it. It gives you a larger jump, and makes your hitboxes smaller, making you a smaller target. Crouch-jumping whilst rocket-jumping gives you a bigger jump.)
4: Be careful of your health.
5: Remember that you’ll still suffer fall damage when you jump.
There are some places in maps where only Soldiers can access. Use your rocket jumps to give you a height advantage, and to splash enemies off points. You can also minimize damage taken from your jumps using your secondaries. The Gunboats are a pair of boots that take the place of your Shotgun that reduce damage taken from rocket-jumping, and the Mantreads are a pair of boots which reduce knockback and fall damage. You can even use the Mantreads to deal damage to enemies by ‘goomba-stomping’ them! Finally, you can also jump a number of times in a row; this is called ‘pogoing’. The most important thing to do is to keep your health up, so you don’t disadvantage yourself in a fire fight. Utilise the overheal of a Medic, the healing of Payload carts and Dispensers, and health packs, to keep you in good shape.
2: Juggling
REQUIRES: any primary weapon
Juggling is a skill that a number of classes can do. It refers to the strategy of using your weapons to propel an enemy into the air, leaving them momentarily vulnerable and confused. A Soldier can use the splash damage of his rockets to ‘bounce’ or ‘splash’ enemies into the air. This will both damage them and leave them open to aerials (see below). Once an enemy is shot into the air, it’s pretty easy to predict where they’re going to land. It’s also easy to outright shoot them outta the sky. It’s as easy as aiming for your foes’ feet and shooting. Use it to buy you some time.
Juggling also has different dynamics per weapon:
Rocket Launcher / Original: Arguably the best RL to juggle with. Its large splash radius can toss many enemies into the air.
Direct Hit: Although it requires far greater aim, a Direct Hit rocket will inflict more damage and send an enemy juggled higher. However, it’s harder to hit multiple foes.
Liberty Launcher: The Liberty Launcher is a good balance between the Direct Hit and the stock RL. However, you’ll have to reload more.
Black Box: Juggling with the Black Box can recover a lot of health, but once again, it’s less viable as you have to reload more often.
REQUIRES: any primary weapon
Soldiers, although usually cumbersome, can utilise the destructive explosions of their rockets to propel them throughout the battlefield. Soldiers will naturally be knocked back and hurt from their own explosions. However, you can use this to propel yourself into the air and access unique positions on the map. This is known as ‘rocket jumping’, and it’s the most important skill a Soldier has. Soldiers naturally have resistance against their own rockets. Your rockets won’t kill you, but they will toss you. If you fire a rocket at your feet, the explosion will toss you upwards. If you jump whilst doing so, you can gain a much higher jump, at the cost of some health. Jump too much, and you’ll kill yourself. You can also use your rockets to send you flying in a short, quick jump, to get you across the battlefield quickly. You can even use your rockets to move yourself during the first few seconds of spawning, where you’re normally frozen in place.
The main tips of rocket jumping are this:
1: Aim your rockets directly beneath your feet.
2: Jump just before you fire.
3: Crouch whilst jumping to get a bigger jump. (This is called crouch-jumping. Any class can do it. It gives you a larger jump, and makes your hitboxes smaller, making you a smaller target. Crouch-jumping whilst rocket-jumping gives you a bigger jump.)
4: Be careful of your health.
5: Remember that you’ll still suffer fall damage when you jump.
There are some places in maps where only Soldiers can access. Use your rocket jumps to give you a height advantage, and to splash enemies off points. You can also minimize damage taken from your jumps using your secondaries. The Gunboats are a pair of boots that take the place of your Shotgun that reduce damage taken from rocket-jumping, and the Mantreads are a pair of boots which reduce knockback and fall damage. You can even use the Mantreads to deal damage to enemies by ‘goomba-stomping’ them! Finally, you can also jump a number of times in a row; this is called ‘pogoing’. The most important thing to do is to keep your health up, so you don’t disadvantage yourself in a fire fight. Utilise the overheal of a Medic, the healing of Payload carts and Dispensers, and health packs, to keep you in good shape.
2: Juggling
REQUIRES: any primary weapon
Juggling is a skill that a number of classes can do. It refers to the strategy of using your weapons to propel an enemy into the air, leaving them momentarily vulnerable and confused. A Soldier can use the splash damage of his rockets to ‘bounce’ or ‘splash’ enemies into the air. This will both damage them and leave them open to aerials (see below). Once an enemy is shot into the air, it’s pretty easy to predict where they’re going to land. It’s also easy to outright shoot them outta the sky. It’s as easy as aiming for your foes’ feet and shooting. Use it to buy you some time.
Juggling also has different dynamics per weapon:
Rocket Launcher / Original: Arguably the best RL to juggle with. Its large splash radius can toss many enemies into the air.
Direct Hit: Although it requires far greater aim, a Direct Hit rocket will inflict more damage and send an enemy juggled higher. However, it’s harder to hit multiple foes.
Liberty Launcher: The Liberty Launcher is a good balance between the Direct Hit and the stock RL. However, you’ll have to reload more.
Black Box: Juggling with the Black Box can recover a lot of health, but once again, it’s less viable as you have to reload more often.
3: Aerials
REQUIRES: any primary weapon, secondary weapons
An aerial is a hit or a series hits made on an enemy whilst they’re mid-air. Technically, any class can just shoot an enemy whilst they’re airborne, but generally, it refers to the tactic of forcing an enemy into the air (by juggling or otherwise), and then making deliberate shots to kill them. Soldiers excel at Aerials, as their accurate, high-damage weapons are great for juggling and then finishing enemies off with aerials. It’s as simple as juggling a foe into the air using a rocket, and then using another rocket or any other attack to kill them. Enemies will be slow and stunned in the air, and thus much more vulnerable to your hard-hitting rockets. In fact, the Reserve Shooter, a craftable shotgun for the Soldier (and Pyro) actually rewards aerials, as it gives mini-crits on aerials, among other things.
The Soldier is a very good class to play with. He’s highly balanced, and he has a selection of weapons which all give very unique advantages. A good Soldier is near-unbeatable, and unlike some classes, it’s not too bad if there’s a number of Soldiers on a team. In terms of things to avoid, stray away from Medieval Mode, and try and swap up your tactics as Soldier. It’s very important that you stay fresh, and stay unpredictable. The Soldier’s only real, unavoidable negative, is that his rockets are pretty slow and avoidable. Final thoughts? Soldier’s a great class, and a really good one to get good at.
Top Tip #1: Vary your range to attack different forces.
Top Tip #2: Take advantage of your rocket’s explosive power to juggle, use aerials, rocket jump, kill enemies, and deny the enemy areas.
Top Tip #3: Take care to not let your health go low through rocket jumping – it’s good to be a bodyshield, but don’t be silly.
Top Tip #1: Vary your range to attack different forces.
Top Tip #2: Take advantage of your rocket’s explosive power to juggle, use aerials, rocket jump, kill enemies, and deny the enemy areas.
Top Tip #3: Take care to not let your health go low through rocket jumping – it’s good to be a bodyshield, but don’t be silly.
And there we have it! You know what next’s week story will be eh? I would have done this one sooner, but I was putting the finishing touches on my “How Casham Became A Coconut” story… Which I missed the contest flagfall by a 5 minutes. Whilst my computer was crashing. Fark.
HOW CASHAM BECAME A COCONUT
Well, there’s two ways we can do this; the short way or the long way.
Short story? Magnets, bro, magnets.
Long story? Well, here we go.
It was a lovely summery afternoon in Australia. You know, like the ones they show in tourism ads for the Gold Coast, where bikini babes ask “Where the bloody hell are ya?” The sun was shining, the birds were singing, the crocodiles were mauling Swedish backpackers, and the dingoes were stealing babies.
Meanwhile, in Melbourne, it was raining. Like it always does. But that didn’t matter, because everyone had Louis Vuitton umbrellas, and were so indie anyway that the hail bounced off their awesome.
We now focus on a little, dingy house in Patterson Lakes, a nice little suburb, the kind of which you’d never suspect that your CEO neighbour is a BDSM-practicing serial killer. A young, attractive woman was busily cleaning her Merc. Her name was Kerrigan, and it was quite apparent to everyone who didn’t have cataracts that she was pregnant. She was a beautiful young lass – the kinda girl you pick up after a few Jagerbombs, and have a one-night-stand with, which ends up being a four-year relationship. But anyway, let’s get back to the details.
Now, this particular young pregnant girl, cleaning a European car on a wet Thursday afternoon, was actually a ninja assassin, which is confusing, considering she’s massively Anglo. Her secret KGB masters had planted her in this vaguely European city for a mission.
Now, I’m sure you know Kevin Rudd. Shortish guy, vaguely balding, sweet-talking, ex-Aussie-PM, “Where the fuck is my hair-dryer?” Well, it turns out that he was actually a Chinese spy, sent from the unscrupulous sweatshops of Guangzhou, to find and kill a brilliant scientist by the name of Dr. Robotnik. Now, Dr. Robotnik was a rather egg-shaped chap who was promoting ecologically sound labour practices. Like strapping woodland creatures into monkey robots.
Now, the Chinese government didn’t like that, because it was detracting from their plans to build a series of power stations out of bacon. Because all the native creatures of China had long been gone, served up in dodgy dim sums exported the world over, the Chinese couldn’t possibly hope to compete with Robotnik’s new eco-friendly scheme. So they dispatched their top secret agent, Mr. K. Rudd, to eliminate ol’ Eggman, so that Australia would never be better than China in making greenhouse gases. (All the cows and sheep make a helluva lot of methane. Ask Ronald McDonald.)
Kerrigan’s job was to protect Dr. Robotnik from Kevin. Which, truth be told, was a pretty cushy number, because let’s face it, Kevin Rudd isn’t threatening to anyone. In spite of this, however, Kerrigan managed to get herself pregnant. How? Even I don’t know that, and I’m the narrator. But it did come on suddenly after she finished eating a Bounty bar. Damn Cadbury. Or is that Mars? Anyhoo…
Back to the story. Yeah, that’s right, cleaning Mercedes-Benzeses. You know, it’s easy to get brains outta leather car seats, but not bird poop. So, Kerrigan’s here, scrubbing her arse off (giggity). Yeap. But then – suddenly – RUDD ATTACK!
K. Rudd jumped out of the shadows with a stomach-churning yell of “Leeeeeroyyyy Jenkinssss!” Kerrigan twisted around, chucking a bird-faeces-ridden sponge at Kevin’s hair. He sharply recoiled in shock.
“That’ll teach you to mess with me,” uttered Kerrigan, her peaceful face now contorted into a dangerous grimace. Kevin hissed at her, and scuttled back into the shadows. Yeah, Russians really don’t give a fuck, it’s true.
Meanwhile, in Japan, an Elvis-loving crossdresser named Cortana was busy giving a striptease to what appeared to be a vegetarian Thanksgiving’s Day lunch. Japan’s a crazy place, no? ‘Specially Tokyo. That’s shit’s off the chiz-ang. But let’s get back to it. Gee, I’m ADD.
So yeah, Cortana’s stripping to a vegetable roast.
“Mmm, show me dat Furky Jerky,” the incongruous near-meat thing said.
Cortana continued to strip off when suddenly, a gang of bikers with red leather jackets and Pokemon helmets walked in.
“コックサッカーは、我々は現在ビールが欲しい!” they loudly demanded to the barkeeper in unison.
“このたわごとは性交とは何ですか,” Cortana exclaimed.
“私を仲間に来る,” the thugs demanded.
“さて、私はモンスターコックであなたを破壊します,” Cortana replied.
He / she whipped out a pair of Berettas from her / his / its bra, and started to gun down the Gundam-loving Asian eshays. Blood spattered everywhere, but this didn’t perturb the club’s patrons, because they were all stoned off Sharpies anyway. Including the fake meat thing, which kept repeating “Hooray, hooray” over and over. Cortana left the strip club and pulled out an iPhone from an unknown bodily crevasse.
“Duke, sir?”
“Mmmmyes?”
“It’s time.”
“You know what to do.”
“You don’t mean…”
“Yes. Cortana, my love –“
Cortana steels her / him / its / we don’t judge / whatever’s gaze.
“Do a barrel roll.”
And with those mystical words, Cortana transformed into a rainbow snake, and took off; her new-found powers kicking in.
Meanwhile, in Melbourne, Kerrigan was in labour. Why? Because Kevin injected her with cyanide. Don’t ask silly questions. But yeah, she was massively preggers, and she just popped out a baby. She named it Navi, partly because she got lost on the way to the hospital, and she had to steal a GPS. Navi was a lovely child, except for the fact she had Tourette’s. And she was head-to-toe covered in hair. But Kerrigan loved her, and together they trained in the fabled art of Russian Ninjitsu.
This non-sequiter story continues next week! I’m kidding. Where are we again? I’m so high. That’s right, rainbow snakes! Yes! So, let’s be deus ex machina and skip twenty years into the future. Navi is a well-respected professional gamer, and Cortana is still flying over the Pacific as a rainbow snake.
The camera zooms into Navi. She’s in the middle of an intense game of “Puberty Bingo”. Suddenly, Cortana crashes through the wall and slices a pig in twain. Navi and Cortana lock eyes; a furious animalistic sexual lust pulses through them. They engage in a number of sex manoeuvres, most of which are highly illegal, and taught to Cortana by a salubrious Pyro.
After a straight week of intense salami-frotting (take that as you will), the new couple decide to take a holiday to Foruchan. After finding out that jimmy-rustling is a fun exercise, a certain Dr. McNinja informs them that they’re pregnant. Both of them, simultaneously. So, instantly, Navi downs a beaker of Kool Aid and starts to have labour. So does Cortana.
“Mummy would be so proud,” she gushed.
“黙ってその野郎を押し出す,” Cortana orders.
After many moons, and many Minecraft updates, the two give birth. Blood goes everywhere. The two halves of the baby are stitched together with pony mane hair, and thus, a lovely, brown, hairy, highly promiscuous coconut was born. Maybe the Bounty bar had something to do with it. Maybe it was because the rainbow snake shaped the land. Or maybe it was because Vorsprung got bored writing this story. But, ultimately, Casham was born in the city of Melbourne. A double rainbow crested through the sky, and Rsmv got laid. And all was good.
Well, there’s two ways we can do this; the short way or the long way.
Short story? Magnets, bro, magnets.
Long story? Well, here we go.
It was a lovely summery afternoon in Australia. You know, like the ones they show in tourism ads for the Gold Coast, where bikini babes ask “Where the bloody hell are ya?” The sun was shining, the birds were singing, the crocodiles were mauling Swedish backpackers, and the dingoes were stealing babies.
Meanwhile, in Melbourne, it was raining. Like it always does. But that didn’t matter, because everyone had Louis Vuitton umbrellas, and were so indie anyway that the hail bounced off their awesome.
We now focus on a little, dingy house in Patterson Lakes, a nice little suburb, the kind of which you’d never suspect that your CEO neighbour is a BDSM-practicing serial killer. A young, attractive woman was busily cleaning her Merc. Her name was Kerrigan, and it was quite apparent to everyone who didn’t have cataracts that she was pregnant. She was a beautiful young lass – the kinda girl you pick up after a few Jagerbombs, and have a one-night-stand with, which ends up being a four-year relationship. But anyway, let’s get back to the details.
Now, this particular young pregnant girl, cleaning a European car on a wet Thursday afternoon, was actually a ninja assassin, which is confusing, considering she’s massively Anglo. Her secret KGB masters had planted her in this vaguely European city for a mission.
Now, I’m sure you know Kevin Rudd. Shortish guy, vaguely balding, sweet-talking, ex-Aussie-PM, “Where the fuck is my hair-dryer?” Well, it turns out that he was actually a Chinese spy, sent from the unscrupulous sweatshops of Guangzhou, to find and kill a brilliant scientist by the name of Dr. Robotnik. Now, Dr. Robotnik was a rather egg-shaped chap who was promoting ecologically sound labour practices. Like strapping woodland creatures into monkey robots.
Now, the Chinese government didn’t like that, because it was detracting from their plans to build a series of power stations out of bacon. Because all the native creatures of China had long been gone, served up in dodgy dim sums exported the world over, the Chinese couldn’t possibly hope to compete with Robotnik’s new eco-friendly scheme. So they dispatched their top secret agent, Mr. K. Rudd, to eliminate ol’ Eggman, so that Australia would never be better than China in making greenhouse gases. (All the cows and sheep make a helluva lot of methane. Ask Ronald McDonald.)
Kerrigan’s job was to protect Dr. Robotnik from Kevin. Which, truth be told, was a pretty cushy number, because let’s face it, Kevin Rudd isn’t threatening to anyone. In spite of this, however, Kerrigan managed to get herself pregnant. How? Even I don’t know that, and I’m the narrator. But it did come on suddenly after she finished eating a Bounty bar. Damn Cadbury. Or is that Mars? Anyhoo…
Back to the story. Yeah, that’s right, cleaning Mercedes-Benzeses. You know, it’s easy to get brains outta leather car seats, but not bird poop. So, Kerrigan’s here, scrubbing her arse off (giggity). Yeap. But then – suddenly – RUDD ATTACK!
K. Rudd jumped out of the shadows with a stomach-churning yell of “Leeeeeroyyyy Jenkinssss!” Kerrigan twisted around, chucking a bird-faeces-ridden sponge at Kevin’s hair. He sharply recoiled in shock.
“That’ll teach you to mess with me,” uttered Kerrigan, her peaceful face now contorted into a dangerous grimace. Kevin hissed at her, and scuttled back into the shadows. Yeah, Russians really don’t give a fuck, it’s true.
Meanwhile, in Japan, an Elvis-loving crossdresser named Cortana was busy giving a striptease to what appeared to be a vegetarian Thanksgiving’s Day lunch. Japan’s a crazy place, no? ‘Specially Tokyo. That’s shit’s off the chiz-ang. But let’s get back to it. Gee, I’m ADD.
So yeah, Cortana’s stripping to a vegetable roast.
“Mmm, show me dat Furky Jerky,” the incongruous near-meat thing said.
Cortana continued to strip off when suddenly, a gang of bikers with red leather jackets and Pokemon helmets walked in.
“コックサッカーは、我々は現在ビールが欲しい!” they loudly demanded to the barkeeper in unison.
“このたわごとは性交とは何ですか,” Cortana exclaimed.
“私を仲間に来る,” the thugs demanded.
“さて、私はモンスターコックであなたを破壊します,” Cortana replied.
He / she whipped out a pair of Berettas from her / his / its bra, and started to gun down the Gundam-loving Asian eshays. Blood spattered everywhere, but this didn’t perturb the club’s patrons, because they were all stoned off Sharpies anyway. Including the fake meat thing, which kept repeating “Hooray, hooray” over and over. Cortana left the strip club and pulled out an iPhone from an unknown bodily crevasse.
“Duke, sir?”
“Mmmmyes?”
“It’s time.”
“You know what to do.”
“You don’t mean…”
“Yes. Cortana, my love –“
Cortana steels her / him / its / we don’t judge / whatever’s gaze.
“Do a barrel roll.”
And with those mystical words, Cortana transformed into a rainbow snake, and took off; her new-found powers kicking in.
Meanwhile, in Melbourne, Kerrigan was in labour. Why? Because Kevin injected her with cyanide. Don’t ask silly questions. But yeah, she was massively preggers, and she just popped out a baby. She named it Navi, partly because she got lost on the way to the hospital, and she had to steal a GPS. Navi was a lovely child, except for the fact she had Tourette’s. And she was head-to-toe covered in hair. But Kerrigan loved her, and together they trained in the fabled art of Russian Ninjitsu.
This non-sequiter story continues next week! I’m kidding. Where are we again? I’m so high. That’s right, rainbow snakes! Yes! So, let’s be deus ex machina and skip twenty years into the future. Navi is a well-respected professional gamer, and Cortana is still flying over the Pacific as a rainbow snake.
The camera zooms into Navi. She’s in the middle of an intense game of “Puberty Bingo”. Suddenly, Cortana crashes through the wall and slices a pig in twain. Navi and Cortana lock eyes; a furious animalistic sexual lust pulses through them. They engage in a number of sex manoeuvres, most of which are highly illegal, and taught to Cortana by a salubrious Pyro.
After a straight week of intense salami-frotting (take that as you will), the new couple decide to take a holiday to Foruchan. After finding out that jimmy-rustling is a fun exercise, a certain Dr. McNinja informs them that they’re pregnant. Both of them, simultaneously. So, instantly, Navi downs a beaker of Kool Aid and starts to have labour. So does Cortana.
“Mummy would be so proud,” she gushed.
“黙ってその野郎を押し出す,” Cortana orders.
After many moons, and many Minecraft updates, the two give birth. Blood goes everywhere. The two halves of the baby are stitched together with pony mane hair, and thus, a lovely, brown, hairy, highly promiscuous coconut was born. Maybe the Bounty bar had something to do with it. Maybe it was because the rainbow snake shaped the land. Or maybe it was because Vorsprung got bored writing this story. But, ultimately, Casham was born in the city of Melbourne. A double rainbow crested through the sky, and Rsmv got laid. And all was good.
VORSPRIZZLE
Oh yeah, feedback much obliged an’ shit. Fer both things. And yeah.
