So Cheese Needs a Little Dating Advice...

Cheese7710

Cheese7710

Well-Known Member
Hello all. I will tell you now-I am very new to dating (1 real gf, 2 people dated, and 3 people I've talked to.) I have no problem getting someone who I know likes me back, but here's my problem-I get very shy around people I don't know. I can't just walk up to some random girl in Walmart and say "Hello. My name's ****** (Not everyone here know's my name :p). Would you like to go out sometime?" I wish I could.

I also have a problem with blind dating. I hate not knowing the person who I'll be dating (which is hard because my bro keeps trying to set me up on blind dates.)

So...any advice? I'd like to know some good advice from both sides of the dating game. If you want to, you can also post your advice on dating that I haven't mentioned, so other T9K members can use this advice.

(Got the idea for this thread by TheGurw's blog and my bro's constant trying to get me on a blind date.)
 
Shyness is all a part of the mind. I still get shy and I work in a job that deals with customer service all day long... The biggest key in any relationship or friendship is be yourself, don't change your ways for someone. If they can't accept you for who you are, don't waste your time on them.

Orrrrr.. Liquid courage always does the trick!
 
Cheese7710 said:
Hello all. I will tell you now-I am very new to dating (1 real gf, 2 people dated, and 3 people I've talked to.) I have no problem getting someone who I know likes me back, but here's my problem-I get very shy around people I don't know. I can't just walk up to some random girl in Walmart and say "Hello. My name's ****** (Not everyone here know's my name :p). Would you like to go out sometime?" I wish I could.

I also have a problem with blind dating. I hate not knowing the person who I'll be dating (which is hard because my bro keeps trying to set me up on blind dates.)

So...any advice? I'd like to know some good advice from both sides of the dating game. If you want to, you can also post your advice on dating that I haven't mentioned, so other T9K members can use this advice.

(Got the idea for this thread by TheGurw's blog and my bro's constant trying to get me on a blind date.)
Click to expand...
Girls like getting flowers and pillow pets and stooof. Also don't talk to them too much or they'll think you are desperate. Make them miss you and whenever you hang out with them make it rememberable.
 
Not dating is the best dating. Those sweet moments are but a fleeting second into the abyss of despair, shame and severe lack of enthusiasm. You win if there's no emotional attachment whatsoever... or until you write an acoustic that may sell millions.

Girls are shallow. If you are looking for a meaningful relationship, go date men.
 
MagicForDummies said:
Girls are shallow. If you are looking for a meaningful relationship, go date men.
Click to expand...
pffft, why are you going after the Girls when you should pursue the Women?

... but in all seriousness, I've heard that argument targeted toward the women-folk I know, to the point where they say "fuck this shit, i'm sick and tired of men, gonna go date chicks nao." just go find the Mature, open-minded folk on either side of the gender line... and good luck. :confused:
 
As someone who is married, lemme tell you that marriage can wait.

As far as dating goes and talking to strangers, yeah it can be tough, nobody likes rejection, especially from a stranger. If you haven't tried blind dating at least once, you should. When I was young my sister introduced me to a girl and she and I hung out (I called it dating then, but it really wasn't) and it was fun. I also met another girl online once and she and I dated (we got naked and everything together) and that was fun, too. Meeting strangers isn't always a bad thing if you're smart about it and know whether the person is worth your time or not.

Here are my two bits of advice:

-It never hurts (physically) to ask someone out. They will usually let you down easy if they're a nice person, and usually will be flattered that you found them attractive enough to ask.

-Don't knock it unless you've tried it. If you've not gone on a blind date before (or whatever), then try to keep an open mind about it until you've done it. You never know what type of person you may meet, or what stories/experiences you'll make along the way.
 
Easy fix. Get a bunch of your friends together and go to like the mall or something(where ever you young, unable to drink alcohol people hang out at these days). Make it a game among all of you to be rejected by as many women as you can. Say those cheesy lines you always hear and know never work, or whatever. The whole idea is to have a laugh with your friends. I GUARANTEE that by the time you are done THAT DAY, you will have no problem going up to ANY girl and talking to her naturally. It is still a little difficult to start the game when you are a shy person, but when you're with friends and your goal is to fail, then its a LOT easier then you think. Give it a try, that's what we use when we go out with new people and they are to scared to make a move.
 
Casey said:
Easy fix. Get a bunch of your friends together and go to like the mall or something(where ever you young, unable to drink alcohol people hang out at these days). Make it a game among all of you to be rejected by as many women as you can. Say those cheesy lines you always hear and know never work, or whatever. The whole idea is to have a laugh with your friends. I GUARANTEE that by the time you are done THAT DAY, you will have no problem going up to ANY girl and talking to her naturally. It is still a little difficult to start the game when you are a shy person, but when you're with friends and your goal is to fail, then its a LOT easier then you think. Give it a try, that's what we use when we go out with new people and they are to scared to make a move.
Click to expand...
Until you get tazed in the nuts and pepper sprayed all over your nipples for harassment.
 
If you're going to be chasing down the ladies, Here's a tip.

Look fabulous, then the girls will be chasing after you.

Love, Beese.
xoxox
 
Alright, Cheese, here's some advice from one of the shyest guys out there:

Be friends first.

Honestly. Your long-term partner is, by necessity, going to be your best friend. Don't be scared of being friend-zoned and for Whoresprung's sake, have some patience! My current girlfriend and I have been dating for over two years now, and we were friends for 5 years before that! All my longest and most satisfying relationships were friendships first.

You have nothing to be shy about, since you're already comfortable with them as a friend. Don't be anxious, more than anything, and don't focus on one person. You're supposed to have dozens of friends, so do it! Become good friends with a decent chunk of your preferred sex, and when one is single at the same time you are, increase the closeness until other people start wondering whether you're dating or assume you are (I've always taken this as a good time to make it official). Then have the sexy times.

Oh, and don't start having sex before it's official. That whole 'friends-with-benefits' only works if you're not going to be in a relationship. It's casual sex, and that's it. Honestly, I don't even cuddle with my booty-calls afterwards. Makes things much easier when they know I'm not interested in anything but their body. Avoids drama when I do start seeing someone seriously.
 
I dated a couple of times before I met Godlib, Most of them were assholes and now that I look back I was just as stupid for even getting into a relationship with some of them. So, I leave you with rule number one, don't be a dick. Leave the little girls to the dicks and find yourself a nice woman, or a lady who is learning to become a woman. Rule number two, find a lady who will cook for you. Leave aside the "Get in the kitchen" jokes, a woman who cooks for you is priceless, there are some women out there who can't even boil water. This only leaves you with one option, cook for yourself or die, if you have been gifted with skill in the kitchen you better make sure this bird knows how to clean so you are not caring for her left and right. It is a two way street and if she thinks otherwise tell her to go kick rocks. Rule number three, talk, for the love of god talk to her, about everything. Never leave anything unsaid and expect her to do the same.


I am usually a bit shy around people I don't know so I keep to myself even after being married, Godlib is the one who has been gifted with being social to anyone. My best advice to help over come the shyness is to go volunteer or get a job at a place that requires you to interact with the public. Train yourself to be social, think of it like a video game, give yourself achievements to obtain like making it a point to have a conversation with one person that you don't know. Eventually it will become second nature.

Hope this helps.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top